Tales from the Dark Side of the Moon

…sau cum respiram in lumea reala.

After midnight philosophy

Posted by Jo pe Decembrie 29, 2007

It’s funny how many things one can feel when thinking about himself. Whole. Half. Singificant or insignificant. And that’s all related to the people around you. Because you are what you are with different people. I feel like a complete person most of the time. I am self sufficient and perfectly capable of living on my own… and for a matter of fact alone. It doesn’t happen often to feel the need of another person’s presence. On the other hand, sometimes I relate too much to the ones around me. But, oh well, what is too much? When it comes to feelings, I preffer to say there’s no such thing as too much, in generaly. There’s no „too much hate”, nor „too much love”. And if there is… isn’t that related to something? And if it’s related, it’s not general anymore… is it?

But my point actually was, that altough most of the time I feel self sufficient, times like these ( n.b. : Christmas ), mostly when I’m in a relationship, make me feel like half. Feeling that something, or better yet someone, is missing from your life can be as painful as possible. And if you are a little bit paranoid, this feeling can very easily develop into something more serious. Excesive jelousy, possesivity or any other from this circle, may ( and probably will ) turn things from bad to worse.

Well, it’s funny how you have a subject in mind and want to write about it… and start writing about it, to discover, after a while, that you wrote about something different. It’s funny how I see my mistakes or, actually, the ones that I am about to make and choose to do different. And that is just because my self sufficiency is sometimes not enough when you’re not around. Actually, it’s never enough when you’re not around. And those are the times I feel like a quarter… or even less.

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